What I Learned During a Sabbatical

I’m baaaccckkkkk!

You might not have noticed, but I took a year off for a sabbatical. How very grateful I am for the circumstances in my life that allowed me this incredible opportunity. I feel both a pull to return to writing and coaching, and also the tug to continue to play in the freedom of less structure. I am at a crossroads, standing with infinite possible choices in front of me. I am still sorting it out.

At this time last year I was reveling in the freedom of not being tied to a clock, having spent many years making sure the client I was with was well served and the session felt complete, all by the end of the hour, so that I could then be on time for the next person. Ahhhh, no watch! I was also highly engaged with packing up belongings for my move to a new town and setting up a new home.

What I most wanted was to luxuriate in the time and space of this opportunity and not to fill it up with “creating stuff I ‘had’ to get done,” which was a very old habit. And, I’m happy to say I took full advantage.  I spent many quiet hours meditating, journaling, taking spiritual/conscious evolutionary classes, sitting with my cat, working with a personal development book, and also, watching movies, walking, riding my bike, swimming in the river, and cooking.

Some areas of my life that I played with over the year included:

  • The call to “prove my worth” is very strong and it took awareness and willpower to stop developing an internal list of what I had done each day that could be considered “productive,” and, therefore, justify taking this “time off.” I had to break through the equation that doing = worthiness = self-acceptance. I found that noticing what is wanting to happen and then letting it unfold took both stillness and practice. Self-acceptance became something I took a stand for and not the byproduct of my “doingness.”

In what ways do you find yourself trying to prove your own worth? Does self-acceptance happen after you’ve done something to earn it, or can you accept yourself first, regardless of what you do or don’t do? Do others have to “do the right thing” before you can accept them?

  • big leapI played with concepts from the book, The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, especially around the commitment, “I feel good, always.”  We have ways of “upper limiting” ourselves and create problems to hold ourselves in check at a status quo. The equation might look something like, feeling good = don’t deserve this = better dampen it or something even worse will happen. Having few responsibilities was a great way to illuminate my mental habit of worrying, often daydreaming of problems that didn’t even exist! The task at hand was to raise my level of awareness to “catch myself” going down a rabbit hole and then shine a light on how I was “upper limiting” myself. Having done tons of personal development work on myself, it was actually a bit mind blowing to see how much of a habit this was for me.

Ways you might “upper limit” yourself other than using worry include criticism/blame, deflection of positive energy, squabble, or get sick/injured. Notice how often these things happen when moments before you were feeling good. Raising your level of awareness is the first step to shifting your upper limit upward!

  • One last big sandbox I played in was that of letting go of identities, particularly ones having to do with work and career. I referred to myself as “being on sabbatical” and yet I was asked all the time, “what does it feel like to be retired?” Retired? That’s for someone that’s a lot older than me, who is through with working. I felt (and sometimes still feel) so much resistance to that word, maybe because there is a part of me that fears I am through, washed up, no longer of service. What I realized from this experience was how attached I was to what I did, what I accomplished, what I was paid for and whether I was being of service. I now play a game to see if I can have a conversation with someone without saying, “I am ….., marriedcoco on hike, a coach, a this or that.” It’s NOT easy!!! Even deeper, however, I have begun to feel the identities I hold as cords, and play with the feeling of unraveling and loosening the hold they have on me. My aging cat helped me with this when I became way too attached to caring for him. Energetically I felt the cord I had attached to him as his “caretaker” and together, at least it felt that way, we severed the cord. It was actually quite painful, both physically and emotionally for me, but it was such a clear understanding of just how bound to our identities we can be. I will always honor him for this precious lesson. I am still very much engaged with the prospect of what it looks and feels like to let go of attachments to what and who I think I am.

Notice your inner energy state whenever you hear the words, “I am [a]” come out of your mouth. Do you puff up with pride; do you feel shame? Is there a “need” to claim this identity? It’s the noticing of how tightly you feel attached to this identity that is interesting and how it might feel to let it begin to slide away, or even loosen its hold just a little bit.

Maybe what I most want you to know is that none of these things I talked about are “problems,” and I don’t think they need to be “fixed” or “healed,” for me or for you. They were the places I “played” while I was experiencing life without a lot of borders. I share them with you here so that if you notice these in yourself, you’ll recognize them for the “games that people play,” learn what you want to from the game, then let go of any attachment or identification with them. Where I always return after any “playful examination,” is that life is the most fun when you know yourself to be the Divine Spirit that you are, and allow yourself to fully incarnate on this Earth as Spirit having fun playing a human.

I look forward to sharing resources and writing about multi-dimensional living again. Please join me on my Facebook pagehttps://www.facebook.com/ChannelYourHigherSelf, for fresh insights and upcoming programs that hold cutting edge opportunities for evolving your self and our world.

Heads Up!  My newest e-learning product and telecourse revolves around incarnating as Spirit!  Check out The Spiritual Explorer’s Path.  New class begins Tuesday, March 1.

Tell me, in what areas of your psyche are you playing with these days?

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Stop Fixing, Start Emerging in 2011

Aacckk! I don’t care much for the “I’ve got to ‘fix’ myself energy” that surrounds the New Year.  Most of us know that New Year’s resolutions most often fail, usually by February!  My belief is  these resolutions come out of some “should’s & oughta’s” and not from  inner knowing.

Inner JoyInstead of “I need to fix myself,” consciously aware folks ask, “How might I know myself even better so that I can live a more continuous experience of feeling authentically me?”  This question recognizes there is nothing to be fixed, that our core (divine) self is always present, and that our evolvement is about allowing our core self to emerge more and more fully.

Especially at this time of year I tap into the various energy bodies to receive guidance.   These 4 portals – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy bodies – provide insights for what aspects of my life are ready to be released and what core strengths are ready to emerge.  This type of inquiry is well supported by the energies of the winter solstice, a time for illuminating our inner world.

Do you know how to sense your energy bodies?  I’ll guide you through a wonderful metaphor a friend of mine, Michael Nunnally, shared on the Consciousness Playground.  Note: as you connect with each energy body in its highest vibrational state, notice the “communication” you receive.  This is your guidance about what is ready to be released and what is ready to emerge.

  • Imagine yourself as a large glass container.
  • To get in touch with your PHYSICAL energy body, imagine large rocks in your container.  The density of these rocks correspond with your physical body.  Have you ever felt your body as coordinated, graceful, and in flow?  This is the higher vibrating physical body and the one you want to communicate with for guidance.
  • To get in touch with your MENTAL energy body, imagine pouring small pebbles into your container.  Notice that even though the large rocks filled the container there is room for these small pebbles to move down among the larger rocks. You know you are accessing the higher vibrating mental body when you feel “clear headed,” creative and focused.
  • Next, in your imagination pour sand into your container.  Once again, even though the container appears full, there are still spaces between the pebbles and the rocks and the sand filters down to fill these.  This represents your EMOTIONAL energy body and the way emotions affect us both physically and mentally.  Shift into your higher vibrating emotional body with feelings of appreciation, peace, joy and love.
  • Lastly, pour water into your container and watch as it washes through the rocks, pebbles and sand, coating every piece, visibly changing every thing it touches.  This is your SPIRITUAL energy body and is experienced in its highest vibration as a sense of divinity, connection and oneness.

What amazing and profound insights did you experience with this exercise?  I would love for you to share them here!

Would you like additional assistance in moving through these energy bodies?  Maybe you want some added support in understanding the communication process of these portals?

Join me in Play 4 Guidance in January.  I’m offering teleclasses and in person workshops in Austin where I guide participants to use these portals effectively.  I also teach several tools to help you harness and better utilize the communication that you receive.  Our focus is on receiving individualized guidance directly about 2011. You’ll leave this course with specific “next-steps” to move you purposely forward.

Complimentary Overview Teleclass on Friday, January 7, 1:00 Central Time.

If you want to know the time in your area, check here: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

Action Steps to Use this Process Now:

  1. Sit quietly and breath deeply to center yourself.  Read the “script” above, one energy body at a time.  Notice what you notice with each energy body, then write it down.  At the end, let yourself sit with all that you have written, and then distill your guidance down to one or two sentences that create your next steps forward in 2011.
  2. Register and join me on Friday, January 7 at 1:00 CT to experience a portion of this process with a guide.
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